Friday 28 August 2009

Random Thoughts from 25-35 year-olds

These aren't mine, but I thought they were funny enough to share :)

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
-That's enough, Nickelback.
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
-There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent someone from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories
-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Thursday 27 August 2009

"There are things I will never grow too big for"

"Love and cuddles, Mommy." - Alexandria's response to my, "You're growing up so much, Sweetie!"


Wednesday 26 August 2009

A cake, some dinos and a very happy girl

We celebrated Alexandria's fifth birthday on Sunday with some family and friends. (Her birthday was actually on Friday.)

Here are some pictures of the cake - and the girl that was very happy with her cake! (I'm happy with how it turned out as well).

The last picture is of Alex and Mary. I threw it in here just because I like it :)

Saturday 22 August 2009

I'm a "real life Yummy Mummy"

Check it out. 7th row on the end :)

What's a yummy mummy look like?

My favourite picture, though? Check out row 10 - last picture. Is that a perfect 'mommy' picture or what!

I really wish we had a camera that worked!

There's really not much more to the post than that. Our camera is dead for some reason. Thought it was the battery, so I ordered two (cheap) replacements on eBay. Tried both. No luck. Tried charging both and trying again. No luck. Wondering if the problem is the charger itself?....

Probably cheaper and makes more sense just to get a new camera...

Friday 21 August 2009

What'd she say?

Alexandria is FIVE today! Five?! How'd that happen?... She'll be off to SENIOR Kindergarten in a couple weeks. (And speaking of that... Where'd the summer go?!)

She's developing into quite the independent little person. She comes out with these funny, little, grown-up-ish sentences and it's quite humourous sometimes.

While we were sitting eating some ice cream on The Square in Goderich, "What the heck am I seeing?!" came from the little girl. She said that in response to a shirtless man walking by.

About a rainy day while staying at Grandma and Grandpa's in Goderich, "I don't mind days like these. I can just lay around and watch movies." (Or something to that effect. Correct me if I'm wrong, Grandpa!)

Another Goderich one. (What's it with Goderich?) After Grandma and Grandpa had taken the kids to the beach, a ship was coming into the harbour. They went over to watch the tugboats push it in and then watched it get ready to load some salt. The next day the headed to the beach again. Grandpa said, "The ship must have gotten loaded with salt and went on its way." This prompted Alex to respond with, "Good! At least we don't have to sit and watch that again!" (Again, I'm paraphrasing based on a conversation with my dad.)

I need to write more of these down. They're pretty funny. To us anyway!

Sunday 9 August 2009

What's up with nursery rhymes?

These thoughts that are in my brain today stem from a game at a friend's baby shower. (Baby showers could be a WHOLE other blog entry....)

Anyway, the game was fill-in-the-blank nursery rhymes. Wanna try it? How many can you get?

1. Mary had a little lamb, its ______ as white as snow
2. Baa baa black sheep, have you any _______
3. Rub a dub dub, three men in a tub, and how do you _____ _____ _____ _____
4. Mary, mary quite ______, how does your garden grow
5. Peter picked a peck of ______ ______
6. 1, 2, buckle my shoe; 3, 4, _______ ___ ________
7. Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating his _________ pie
8. Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her ______ and ______
9. Peter, Peter pumpkin eater, had a wife and couldn't ______ her
10. Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no ________
11. Hey diddle diddle, the _____ and the fiddle

#3 is what prompted this entry. The answer is apparently "think they got there". I (and the person beside me) thought the line should be "and who do you think they be?", not "how do you think they got there?". Just for my own anal mind, I texted my recently-married brother. Is that last part relevant? No. Just wanted to put that in there. Congratulations Jere and Mare! Anyway. Jeremy got back to me with:

Three men in a tub,
And how do you think they got there?
The butcher, the baker,
The candlestick-maker,
They all jumped out of a rotten potato.

WHAT?! Has ANYONE heard this version? They all jumped out of a rotten potato? That doesn't even rhyme, let alone make ANY sense!

Jeremy followed that up with another line:
'Twas enough to make a man stare.

Okay... At least that completes it with a rhyme, but the rhythm sucks ass.

I googled the nursery rhyme and finally found the version I know:

Rub a dub dub,
Three men in a tub,
And who do you think they be?
The butcher, the baker,
The candlestick maker.
Turn them out, knaves all three.

And there's yet another version:

Hey! rub-a-dub, ho! rub-a-dub,
three maids in a tub,
And who do you think were there?
The butcher, the baker, the candlestick-maker,
And all of them gone to the fair.

Apparently the origin of the nursery rhyme that one of my childhood tubs toys is based on was about three women in a tub with the butcher, baker and chandler watching them (or perhaps partaking?)

My source? Wikipedia - so take what you want from these "facts".

There's a whole other tangent I could go on about child abuse, spousal abuse, death, violence and innuendo in nursery rhymes, but I don't have the energy tonight. Maybe another time?

Oh ya. Need these?.... Here are the answers:
1. fleece
2. wool
3. think they got there
4. contrary
5. pickled peppers
6. shut the door/knock at the door
7. Christmas
8. curds and whey
9. keep
10. lean
11. cat

Monday 3 August 2009

Knock knock

A knock-knock joke (as told by Alexandria to Grandpa):

Knock knock

Who's there?


Banana who?

Knock knock

Who's there?


Banana who?

Knock knock

Who's there?


Strawberry who?

Strawberry you glad I didn't say banana?

*Cue the hysterical laughter