Thursday 27 May 2010

Now she's the creator of the entire universe

Alexandria was recounting the story to Daddy today of how she created the entire universe. In the beginning there was just a magical white, and then she was created. So it was only her and the magical white that existed. Everything was white. Then she ate all the white (as she's motioning with her arms, showing how she was gathering it all and consuming it.) Oh, and a little black - and she was the pink. Not sure how there was black there if all there was was white, but I didn't question when I heard the story. (She told it again at the dinner table.)

After she ate all the magical white (and a bit of black), she burped - yes burped - up the universe and everything in it. First all the suns and stars; then the planets and the moons; then Zachary was created. Zachary was created before any other beings. After Zachary came the dinosaurs; then Nana and Grandpa; Grandma and Grandpa; THEN Mommy; and Daddy came after Mommy. After that all humans were created from her big burp.

She also created time. She said she created the hours and the days and the minutes and years - and clocks.

And then she was telling fortunes. She told Zachary's and Daddy's. She had a mystic bucket of sand that she told fortunes with. "I will tell your fortune," as she grabbed some sand and tossed it like pixie dust. She continued to spatter the mystical sand every time she mentioned something in the fortune. (Unfortunately, Daddy can't remember his or Zachary's fortune.)

So much for the Big Bang Theory. We now have the Big Burp Theory. :)

Friday 21 May 2010

A lesson in taking it personally - by Sarah Carmichael

I love @sarahcasm's blog. I read every post. I love them all. This one really said something I want to make sure my kids embrace. I asked Sarah if I could repost it here. She generously said yes.

She's also awesome in person. We've met a few times now, and she was my date for Mamma Mia.

If you want to check out her blog, here's the link. It's also in my blogroll to the side.

A Lesson in Taking it Personally

Dear Q,

Don’t take anything personally. When people call you names (and they will), ignore them. Remember that nothing people say to you or about you is ever actually about you. It is ALWAYS about them. Everything that people say is about them. Insults are reflections of insecurities. People will try to make themselves feel better by making you feel bad. Don’t fall for it and don’t give them power over your emotions or feelings of self-worth.

This goes for you, too. Remember that every insult you hurl at another person is rooted in your own insecurities; it is a reflection of who you are at that given moment. Check your self. Be conscious of what you say and why you are saying it. Is it kind? Is it just? Is it necessary?

Love always,


Thursday 20 May 2010

Got dizzy watching all the helicopters at the park

It was such a gorgeous day today. Bea-u-ti-ful!! The kids and I thought a picnic in the park was in order. We packed up din-din, a blanket and some water and headed to the park. What a great time. Alex and I sat on the blanket and ate, while Zach kept running around (barefoot) on the grass, coming back to reload after he'd swallowed his latest mouthful.

We then headed to one of the playgrounds and all was well and good; parents watching their kids from the sidelines. Nice and relaxed. After that we sat and watched the swans for a while. The two swans were only mere feet from us. Pretty cool. Tail feathers waggling. Heads bobbing. The kids thought the bubbles were hilarious. (I'm pretty sure one of the swans burped.) Then on swan came up out of the water and walked right by us. I'm talking two feet away. The kids loved it - especially the thwap, thwap, thwap of the HUGE webbed feet these suckers have.

Next we wandered over to the 'tikes' playground. This one's intended for the wee ones. Probably up until about SK/Gr 1 age. What a difference in overall parenting styles here! These moms must have been first-time moms. Had to have been. As I sat there judging observing, I was getting dizzy! Holy helicopters, Batman!! They were seriously circling the equipment. Over. And over. And over. Making sure they weren't more than one foot from their precious spawn. They helped (perfectly capable) kids up the stairs. Ran over when they were about to use the slides. Lemme explain. The height of the structure was the height of your average toddler. We're not talking ten or twenty feet up, here. Lots of, "Ooo. Be careful!"s were uttered. Lots of directions given. A few, "Do you need help?"s were heard. Your little boo doesn't know if he needs help! You won't let him figure it out!!

One instance Zachary was playing under the "ladder" part and another boy came along - with Mommy in right behind (seriously, I'm surprised these kids didn't get stepped on.) Boy-that-is-not-my-breedling went to climb on the ladder. "Oh no, sweetie. There's a little boy there!" She directed him away from the ladder to another part of the structure. You know what? My kid's the idiot under the ladder. It's ok if he gets stepped on. Lesson learned. (OK. Lesson probably wouldn't be learned, but it would serve him right.)

Good gravy, people! This is exhausting. For you. FOR THEM!! (And for me.) How do you expect your child to learn how to navigate through life and solve their own dilemmas if you make every, single decision for them? I appreciate and understand whole-heartedly not wanting your child to get hurt, but come. on. If Little Miss misses a step?! She may skin her knee, but she'll be fine. And maybe learn to watch more closely next time.

Please. Take a step back. Turn the rotors off, sit - or stand, whatever - and RELAX!

And then I saw a guy wearing a camouflage top with plaid shorts....

Wednesday 19 May 2010

This post brought to you by the 'A' in 'Our World from A to Z'

Yesterday afternoon at about 3pm I was working away on the computer (surprise). I had just said to Jean-Paul it would soon be time to get Alexandria from school when the phone rang. The voice on the other end said, "Hi, it's Beth* from Place of Learning and Fun* and this is going to sound weird, but I have Alexandria here in the office and she has a cone-type plastic thing stuck on her baby finger." Me, trying not laugh too much, "Oh wow." "Yup. We've tried to get it off with soap, putting in cold water and it's really stuck." "Alright, her dad will be right over to come get her." *Names changed

I relay the story to Daddy-Yo, both doing that this-is-serious-but-we-can't-help-laughing thing (better to get our giggles out now than in front of Alex, right?) Daddy heads on over the school to pick up our little reason-things-get-recalled. I sneak a picture, to which she says, "Don't show anybody. Not even on the computer." *I later got her permission to put this on here, telling her one day she'd like to look back on this story. "Why?" she asked. Daddy's reply as he shakes his head, "I don't know." I told her, "Sometimes, after you're all grown up, you like to look back at things that happened when you were little."

This pink cone-thing was really, really stuck. It apparently is a game piece from 'Snakes and Ladders'. I later learned from Baby Girl she was pretending it was a bell on her finger.

We tried a few more things at home... Soaking in cold water... Elevating... Olive oil... Windex (suggested by her teacher when she called to check on Alex. Look it up. It's all over the internet as a home remedy! Who knew?) I held Alex chest to chest as Daddy tried to get it off. Turned it. Screams. Tried to pull if off. Screams. Tears. Lots of resistance - both from the game piece and Alexandria. We stopped trying and faced the fact Alex and I were headed to the emergency department. (Yes, in Canada, you do stupid things and the government pays for it to be remedied.)
While Alex's hand was soaking in cold water, I showered. Trust me. I needed to shower before I went anywhere. I was still hoping at this point (it was 4:30) to make it to my evening class (starting at 6:00) or at least to Toronto for a Blurb Books meet-up (ending at 10pm.) I know. What was I thinking?

So, at 4:30, Alex and I headed to the ER. Alex thought maybe we could just leave the piece on her finger. I reminded her she was going to keep growing and her finger would eventually just fall off if the piece was left on there. We got there. Filled out the registration form. They were assessing #39 in triage and we were #41. I read one book to Alex and it was our turn. They assessed her and we were sent to the intake desk. Two more minutes there and we were on our way into the waiting room. We weren't there for more than a couple minutes when we were escorted to our own room in the emergency department. I was impressed with how fast that happened. In less than about 15 minutes we went from walking in the door to our own room. Not bad. And that waiting room was pretty full. I don't think they want kids waiting in a big group of sickies.

After a couple minutes in the room, a nurse came in with some lube and an ice pack so we could try again to remove it. No-sir-ee. Even turning the game piece was hurting. About another hour went by fairly uneventfully. We were right across from the nurses station so I could see what was going on. Some people were brought in, but nothing overly traumatic for our Monkles to see.

Shortly after 6pm we had a little action, but that was only because the clip on the ice pack came open and all the water came out. Luckily the bed got most of it. Alex's pants just a little and her shirt a bit. I got a couple towels from the nurse and took off the sheet. The nurse also brought a gown because Monkey asked, "Do you have any back-up pants here?" Alex decided to sit in the chair for a bit instead of lying down. We visited some fun and magical places in our imaginations. Yes, there was a magical birthday unicorn that visits all princesses on their sixth birthday. Alex really wants to be a princess now!

Around 7pm we asked for another sheet so we could lay down again. So, Alex and I cuddled for a while. Around 7:30 the nursing staff changes over and they got the explanation about the game piece on the finger. The whole group turned around and smiled that knowing mommy-smile at us. That part-pity, part-holding back the giggles at how funny it really is. A new nurse came in and brought a cup of crushed ice to put inside the game piece and around Alex's hand. I had to keep her distracted for the next while so she didn't think about her cold hand...

Finally around 8pm the doctor came in to see Alexandria. The doctor looked and touched gently and knew it was going to have to be cut off. (I knew that four hours ago...) She got two nurses and they decided the ring cutter would be the best thing. I was still cuddling/spooning Alex so I just stayed like that. That way I could comfort her and restrain her other arm as the nurses worked. They had to get this fairly thick metal part between Alex's finger and the hard, plastic piece.

That was just killing her. Then the nurse had to turn the wheel manually as it ground through the plastic. She screamed and tried to fight it. She sounded like what every tv mom in labour sounds like. Screaming and yelling. She even yelled out, "I can't do this anymore!" just as any women in labour yells out at some point. I saw the glass door slide closed on the other side of the curtain. Good thing we were in a self-contained room and not just one separated by curtains. She. Was. LOUD! They tried one cut on each side of the piece, but it was so thick it wasn't giving. They tried one more cut and poor, little Alex just kept screaming. I said, "Can we give her a break for a moment?" We thought we were just going to have to keep cutting and cutting all around with the ring cutters until it finally gave. They said to me, "We might have to sedate her." In my mind I'm thinking, "Um, no."

The nurses left the room. I sang the same song I've always sung to Alexandria when she was upset. I held her tightly and sang softly into her ear and held her head. Her shaking and tensing slowly subsided and she relaxed and let herself just melt in my arms. I felt so powerful, yet helpless at the same time.

As I sang, I was also listening to the nurses talk outside. This little break was also needed for the staff. This gave them a chance to re-evaluate things. As they were talking the came up with the cast cutter.

The doctor came back in and pulled over the cast cutter. (We happened to be in the room with all the cast stuff.) She turned it on and showed Alex how it wouldn't cut her skin. I swear this thing is magic! I have NO idea how it can cut through that hard plastic, hit skin, and not cut it...

Anyway, a couple fairly quick cuts and it was off. Wish that has been the first thing tried!! When we saw Alexandria's finger we knew why she's been screaming so much. A little ring red, raw, bleeding a bit... and skin... about a third of the circumference of her finger... just hanging there. Ow! The doctor didn't want to touch it, especially with how upset Alex was, since it would fall off anyway. (The pictures were taken about an hour after the piece was removed and definitely don't do it justice.)

One nurse tried to bandage up her finger (which was difficult since it was still slippery from the lube!) as another brought her a popsicle. A blue, white and red popsicle. Popsicles make everything better. I asked to keep the game piece and they put it in a biohazard bag for us to take home - and of course, for Alex to take to school!
It was about 8:45 at this point and neither of us had had anything to eat or even drink since 4:30. We had Alex eat something on the ride to the hospital, but it wasn't much. They didn't want to give her water in case she had to be sedated. I didn't have anything since she wasn't able to. So, where do you take a kid after an emergency room adventure? McDonald's of course!

We capped off the night with a Happy Meal and then recounting the story to Daddy and Grandpa (who had been there to babysit anyway as Daddy went to work and Mommy had class and a meet-up to go to... Didn't make it to either of those, of course.) Daddy called home a couple times to see what was going on, but there was no news for him. He was happy to hear all was ok when I called him after we got out of the hospital.

I also want to mention how amazing Alexandria's kindergarten teacher is. Mrs Mustin called after school to see how Alex was doing and then again this morning to check in. How awesome is that? Small things. Huge impact.

*Update: Here is what her finger looks like today at band-aid change time. Again the pictures don't quite do it justice. There's still a ring of red around her poor little pinkie.

Monday 17 May 2010

Can 'Rock of Ages' take you high enough?

Friggin' right, it can!

This musical follows a small town girl and a city boy (from South Detroit, in case you were wondering) and it starts on a rocking high that lasts through the whole show - and way beyond! ... I was stir-frying last night & was rocking out to my own rendition of 'I Wanna Wok'. (Go ahead. Let that mental picture simmer for a minute. I'll wait.... You've got it in your head now, too, don't you?)

Rock of Ages has woven 80s rock songs and power ballads (oh, how I love the power ballads) into a story that keeps you singing and rocking and headbanging along - all the while laughing at their over-the-top characters, dialogue and antics. And really, what was NOT over-the-top about the 80s?! Aaron Walpole is amazing as Lonny, the story's narrator. I love a musical that doesn't take itself too seriously.

Yvan Pedneault delivers a fantastic performance as Drew (our city boy). You might have caught Yvan as Galileo in a little show called 'We Will Rock You'. Our small town girl, Sherrie, is wonderfully portrayed by Elicia MacKenzie. Again, last seen as Maria in a teeny show you might have heard of... 'The Sound of Music'. Peter Deiwick is hilarious as the skanky, glam rockin' Stacee Jaxx - think any lead singer of any 80s hair band. Sex, drugs and rock n' roll, right?

(Photo credit: Joan Marcus)

This musical is a perfect night out for you and your significant other. It's a great musical to take that guy that 'just isn't into musicals, baby'. Of course there are the songs to keep him entertained, but if that's not enough, there is plenty of eye-candy. In fish-nets. And bra-tops. And hooker boots. And man, are they limber! (Oh, how I want my late 80s body back!!.... *sigh* .... )

Wanna rock with a group of girls? Or guys, wanna take a group of guys out? This musical is perfect for friends - dudes or chicks or both ;) - to go as a group, too.

(Photos by Racheal McCaig)

Thank you so much to The Yummy Mummy Club and Mirvish Productions for including me as an ambassador for this show - got to see it for free! Which is completely awesome because I was trying to figure out how I was going to swing going to see this show. Now I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to swing seeing it again! I would love to pack everyone I ever partied with in high school on a bus and take them all to see 'Rock of Ages'. I will be seeing this one again - fer sure! I'm sure this musical will be around for a few years. Awesome.

Oh - and in case you're not convinced yet, check out the cast on Breakfast Television:
Part 1 here and Part 2 here. Ridiculously awesome. Go.

Saturday 15 May 2010

Today's witty response

Mommy: "Would you like cereal with milk?"

Alexandria: "Well, I don't think it would taste very good with water."

Tuesday 11 May 2010

She's going to kill me for this one day

But... I need to put this in the blog to record it. I thought it was pretty funny.

Alexandria decided to sleep naked last night. That's fine. I was sitting in the living room when she decided to come out of her room. She's talking to me from the top of the stairs and her hand is... well... there... you know... down there... not really doing anything except touching herself a bit. I told her, "If you would like to touch yourself there, that's something we do in private." So, she side-stepped into the bathroom. After about 5-10 seconds she came out and said, "Ok. I'm done now."

We chatted briefly about how it was bedtime and she retired to her room for the night.