Monday 26 May 2008

She's too funny....

We were trying to get ready to go to the Early Years Centre tonight and Alex was still on the toilet. Jean-Paul went up to tell her it was time to get going. She looked and him, cocked her head to the side a bit, and said, "Sorry. I still have to go. You'll have to wait."

Gotta love her!

While I was at work...

... Zachary took 3 steps... forwards. Then took a couple for me when I got home. Actually I was in the bathroom when Jean-Paul brought him to me. He stood Zach up and let him go, and he took a couple steps towards me. I said, "He's walking!". Jean-Paul replied, "Ya, I forgot to mention that." So yes, Zach was under strict orders not to take his first steps when I wasn't there, but in true Zach style, didn't listen.

He took about 7 steps at the Early Years Centre tonight, too. Here's some video we took just before bed. He was way too tired to perform, so really, he's not walking too much on here....

Saturday 24 May 2008

Maybe she'll be a talk show host

We were at a Baby and Toddler show today and they had a little stage set up where there were different shows and speakers throughout the day. In between shows Alexandria was playing around with another little girl. Alex said to her, "Come and sit with me over here." They both went to the edge of the stage and sat down. Alex started to interview her! Then she said, "Let's talk about dinosaurs." I couldn't hear too much after that (and then Cookie Monster came out and interrupted anyway.....)

Too cute! (And Zachary loved Cookie Monster! Thought he was hilarious. Even up close.)

Friday 23 May 2008

While I was at work...

... Zachary took three steps.... BACKWARDS, though!!

Sunday 18 May 2008

I really should just count my blessings

As rough as it seems right now, I really should just be thankful.
Even though I'd rather not have to go to work, I should be thankful I do have a job.
Even though it's a long way to go to work, I should be thankful I have a car to get there.
Even though I don't get to see my family much, I should be thankful for the moments I do get with them.
Even though the house seems like it's always a mess, I should be thankful we have a house.
Even when the kids have me at the end of my rope, I should be thankful I have kids (and that they're healthy enough to piss me off!)
It all comes down to being healthy and safe - and simply being happy for being alive.

The world lost a very beautiful person yesterday. And I mean beautiful in the true sense of the word. Kris was a very dear friend of my mom and dad - as is her husband, Mitch. She was beautiful inside and out. She had a wonderful spirit. She was one of those people who you were happy to be around. I always had the sense she was the type of person would do anything for a friend and always seemed very happy and positive. My heart goes out to everyone affected by her passing. Hers is definitely a life to be celebrated.

When life starts seeming rough, when we start getting caught up in the little stuff, we really do need to take a step back; and as the title of the famous book tells us, "Don't sweat the small stuff. (It's all small stuff)."

If you have your health and your family, really that's all you need. Today I'm counting my blessings.

Friday 16 May 2008

Talk about timing!

This was the VERY FIRST song I heard on the radio as I pulled away from home on my first day back to work, if you can believe it. Do you think I was a bit weepy?! (It's the chorus that gets me).

Here are the chorus lyrics that get me every time...
When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
'cause I miss you
whenever you're not around ...

Trip to the CN Tower

The subway. Always a hit!
Giant Alexandria!!
Love this one!
Oooo! Look at how little everything looks!
On the glass floor. Cool!
Wasn't sure what to make of it at first...
Really on the glass floor now!!
Checking out the view down below.
Alex's favourite part.... The Jurassic Park video game....

Being a baby is exhausting!!

It's tough

It's tough to get up and go to work everyday. And not in the regular way. (It's always tough to get out of bed, I think!). I feel like I'm leaving my heart at home. My place is at home with my kids. That's what I feel deep down. There's just no way that is possible right now (or ever?). It just breaks my heart that I can't do what I know it is I'm supposed to be doing..... I should be with my babies.....

Wednesday 14 May 2008

Taking "green" a little too far

See? Aren't we environmentally friendly?

Saturday 10 May 2008

Job search update

I'm down to one of two people for the bug job. Even if I don't get it, it feels good to have made it that far. Jean-Paul really hopes I get it (and accept it) since it comes with a company car (including gas and maintenance). And I agree, that would be awesome...

I had a phone interview for Economical Insurance this week for a contract position of Training Developer. It wouldn't be actually training, but developing training programs or modules. It's a 15-month position.

I'm still doing some stuff with Primerica and I'm starting to really warm up to the company and its products. (I was a bit skeptical at first).

I'll know more in the next week or so where my employment life will be heading...

Thursday 8 May 2008

I feel like I'm not part of my life anymore!

Does that make sense? It's hard to explain.... I'm not living my life anymore. I'm just floating along....

This will have to be a short post. I think Zach needs me.

Wednesday 7 May 2008

7 1/2 hours...

That's how long I've spent commuting over the past two days.....

Monday I drove. Took 1 1/2 hours there and only an hour back. (I was surprised!)

Yesterday I took GO and TTC. It took 2 1/2 hours each way. It was nicer to be able to ride and read/close my eyes than drive, but I don't think I want to sacrifice 5 hours a day for that benefit.... Oh, and while I was leaving yesterday at 5:20 to make it to the train I saw a star in the sky. That's just plain wrong!

Today I'm going to drive again. I'll be leaving very shortly. 6am.

Friday 2 May 2008

A poem for the Moms out there

Today I left some dishes dirty,
the bed got made around 3:30.
The diapers soaked a little longer,
the odour grew a little stronger.
The crumbs I spilled the day before,
are staring at me from the floor.
The fingerprints there on the wall,
will likely be there till next fall.
The dirty streaks on those window panes,
will still be there next time it rains.
Shame on you, you sit and say,
just what did you do today?
I held a baby till he slept,
I held a toddler while he wept,
I played a game of hide and seek,
I squeezed a toy so it would squeak.
I pulled a wagon, sang a song,
taught a child right from wrong.
What did I do this whole day through?
Not much that shows, I guess that's true.
Unless you think that what I've done,
might be important to someone
With deep blue eyes and soft brown hair,
If that's true..I've done my share.

How does a mother leave her children?

Only two more days with my babies before I have to leave them. That's exactly what it feels like I'm doing. Leaving them.

Thank god my drive is a long one. Will it be long enough to dry the tears before I get to the office? Will it be long enough to go from Mommy-mode to working-woman-mode? Will it be long enough stop singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and start singing along with the radio instead? Will it be long enough to forget about Dora the Explorer and start focusing on product information? Will it be long enough to switch my thinking from dealing with a boundary-pushing preschooler to dealing with boundary-pushing adults? Hopefully I don't try to dole out any time-outs at work! I don't think that would go over very well.... (Although I'm sure I'll be tempted!)

How does a mother leave her baby boy when she's almost certain she'll miss his first steps?
How does a mother walk out that door while her little girl is crying, "Mommy! Don't leave me!"?
How does a mother go to work every day praying and hoping to God her babies will be safe, dreading and fearing that phone call at work - knowing how far she'll have to go to get back to them?
How does a mother explain to a one-year-old who has had his Mommy with him almost every breath of his precious little life, that she will barely see him anymore?
How does a mother explain to an almost four-year old who has had her Mommy with her over half her life, that she "has to" go to work (and no, baby, you can't come) and she'll be home "soon"?
How does a mother explain her concerns to her partner without his feeling like she thinks he's inadequate?

How am I going to back out of the driveway Monday morning?

Another "crib" update

Last night? Not so bad. He's still feeling crappy, so he kept waking up (mostly from coughing). He went down solid from about 11:15 or so until 6am. We brought him into bed with US - yes US again - and got another 2 hours+.

We'll see what tonight brings. Probably much the same as last night. If it wasn't for that blasted cough we'd be home free! (I'm his ears are still bothering him, too.....)

At the Park

Thursday 1 May 2008

Zach's birthday video

Talked bugs for over an hour

I think that's a good sign. (How long was your interview, Jeremy.....?) I think there are about 4 other people up for the position, so we'll see!

Keep your antenna crossed for me!

Nights 3 and 4? Complete disasters!

Zachary has yet another ear infection! Or is it the same one still.....? Not sure.

So, Tuesday night Jean-Paul took Zach into bed with him part-way through the night because he wouldn't settle.

Last night I slept with Zach from around 11pm until morning. The poor bugger was waking up every 15-20 minutes and was just miserable.

I think he feels better today. He had a fever Tuesday night/Wednesday. He's on antibiotics again. Hopefully he'll be back to his old self soon - and back in his crib again. We'll try again tonight and see how it goes!