Thursday 18 February 2010


Here I go. I'm going to bare my darkest secrets. True confession time.

I liked Titanic. There. I said it. I saw it a number of times. In the theatre. I drove from Kitchener to Mississauga more than once (three times, I think) to see on the BIG big screen. These were the days when the big, stadium seating theatres were fairly new and Kitchener didn't have one yet.

Normally when I hear a Celine Dion song I want to drive chopsticks through my eardrums, but I like 'My Heart Will Go On'. And 'You and I (Were Meant to Fly)'. Go ahead. Judge me. I don't care. I'll belt those babies out driving along in the car.

Speaking of Titanic, I love disaster flicks. They are my guilty pleasure. I love them all: Volcano, Armageddon, The Day After Tomorrow, The Storm, Knowing... All of them. I even enjoyed The Core. (Now there you go getting all judgy again...)

My husband and I took undeclared fruit across the border. I know! It was risky. (Actually, we didn't realize it until we got across.) We took apples and other miscellaneous fruit with us on our super-duper, marathon honeymoon road-trip.

While we're on the subject of road trips, in high school my friend (who shall remain nameless, ahem) and I would skip the odd class and take a road trip. One such jaunt found us crossing over into Michigan at Port Huron. We hit the mall, had some lunch, turned around and came home. We totally would have gotten away with it if she hadn't absolutely had to keep the 'really, really cute' Burger King bag with some cartoon drawing on it. This bag? Ya. She forgot it in my car. My dad? Ya. He totally found the bag. Me? Totally grounded. Thanks nameless friend.

Skipping school was a fairly regular thing, at least in my last year. I would skip with a friend or two and we'd head to Kitchener to meet up with my boyfriend. We'd go to KCI and catch a football game or hang out and then head home before school ended.

Oh ya. That boyfriend? My friend and I did something REALLY stupid the night we met him and his friends for the first time. Somehow we met up with them on 'The Square' in Goderich. They said they were looking for a place to party. We knew of a bush party going on just out of town. We hopped in THEIR Ford Bronco and took off for the middle of go-ahead-and-rape-and-kill-us-'cuz-no-one-will-hear-us-scream nowhere. Yes. You read that right. My teenage girlfriend and I hopped in an SUV with three teenage boys we had just met and let them drive us out of town to a bush in the middle of rural Huron County. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Then I dated this guy for about 6 years. (On and off.)

And that guy? I cheated on him when I was in college. Interesting thing, though? He cheated on me the exact same weekend. Needless to say, that was a pretty big, blinking, neon sign that our relationship needed to end. (That was the only time I've ever cheated on anyone. And I still can't believe I was THAT person.)

When I was about 7 or 8, maybe 9, I dunno, I really had to go to the bathroom, but I was all bundled up in my snowpants, winter jacket, boots.. the whole get-up. I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea, but I just went in my snowsuit. Really, really bad idea, by the way. Totally uncomfortable and totally embarrassing.

I hate showering. In fact, I find having to bother to shower very annoying. I never look forward to it. It really seems like a chore to me. Don't get me wrong. I do it. I just don't like it.

And 'sexy' double showering? Sooooo don't like that! One person gets to stand under the warm stream of water while the other person freezes? Not fun at all, let alone a turn-on... especially in the winter. Brrr!

I could totally spend all day (week? life?) just hanging out on the couch watching tv and watching movies.

I used to smoke. I know. Stupid. And I didn't even start when I was young and impressionable. I started in my second year of college. I smoked on and off for a bit. I smoked while I worked at the newspaper because, well, you have to. Everyone takes 'smoke breaks'. If you don't smoke, you really don't get much of a break - or at least feel guilty for taking one. I was never addicted though. Some people hate me for that. I could start and stop whenever I felt like it. Haven't smoked in years. It turns my stomach now. (Phew.)

I had a mild run in with postpartum depression after the birth of my second child. I had a bunch of 'triggers' around the time of his birth. He was born via an unplanned, last-minute c-section. We had just bought a house that we were renovating and moving into in the span of 3 weeks. I witnessed a robbery at gunpoint while I was in the mall with my 7 week-old and was actually the one that notified the mall staff that the robbery was happening. (I saw on the news later that night it had turned into a carjacking and had a school on lockdown when the suspects fled through the grounds.) And I had JUST signed off from being under the care of my wonderful midwives. In fact, the mall is where I went after my last appointment with them. I had been warned by my primary midwife that many cases of PPD start after the 6 week mark - after they say goodbye to us. I thought, 'I'll be fine.' Nope. It got me.

I used to be who I was based on who I was with. I would change depending on who I thought I should be. I even bought skiis because I had a boyfriend who loved skiing. I think I used the skiis once. Finally, in my mid-thirties, I'm really realizing who 'me' is. And you know what? I like me. And as hard as it is for me to deal with most of the time, I'm really trying not to worry about people that may not.

There are other things I could confess, but my parents do read this you know. (Hi Daddy.)

And, even at 36, I still worry about what Mommy and Daddy think of me. I hope I didn't shatter any images with this post... (They probably knew most of this already.)

What are YOUR dark secrets? Go ahead. I won't tell. :)


Anonymous said...

I am such a disater film freak too! I love them. It doesn't matter how bad they are (and most are pretty bad), I'm sucked right in.

JackiYo said...

I know! They're so bad, but I love them. :)

Sharon said...

It's not a dark secret but I loved Titanic! I also love stupid funny movies. Anything with Will Farrell and count me in.

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