Friday 9 July 2010

More than a dream...

This is gonna sound as if it's coming completely from left field. I had a dream last night. Although I can't remember it in all its detail, it was very vivid; that I do remember. It was so vivid that I truly believe it was more than a dream. Not that I'm completely sold on this idea, but I really feel as if it was a piece of a past life. (Go ahead. I'll wait.)

So, are you back with me now? Alrighty. Yup, you read that right. I really think it was a glimpse into a past life of mine. I don't know why I feel that way, I just do. Now.. to the dream.

It was probably the late 1800s or early 1900s (I'm not a history buff... OK, I have a hard time even remembering what the dates of the World Wars were. Trust me. I keep trying to remember. It's a block I have in my brain. Seriously weird.) So my best non-history-knowledgy guess is that. I think I was in some sort of small hotel room or boarding house (more of a boarding house, actually, now that I'm really thinking about it.) I wasn't well-off. I was dressed in a very dowdy brown dress and the decor of the room matched. I had a baby. A boy. He was young. Young enough to be in a pram. I was very despondent. I don't know what the reason was. This is where my memory of the dream gets fuzzy. I don't know if my husband left or wasn't coming back or what happened, but I felt extremely alone. I was completely dejected. I was sitting on the bed in this boarding room, head in my hands and I was bawling; crying the unconsolable tears of someone who had completely given up. This is pretty much where I woke up.

As I was coming into the day's consciousness, I had another feeling - or I was carrying a memory with me - whatever you want to call it. I know how I died in that life. I hanged myself. As morbid as that sounds - and as crazy as this all sounds - this is something I'm pretty sure of. That fact also explains why I carry this unrational dislike, no... loathing, of anything or anyone touching my throat. Rub my neck at the back? Sure. Love it, in fact. Massage my shoulders? Awesome. Touch the front of my neck? I freak. Even as I'm typing this, my neck feels uncomfortable. I don't like turtlenecks. I don't like arms around my neck. Never have. I have to tell massage therapists not to let their fingers cross that line when I'm getting a massage. It completely ruins it for me and I tense up. The experience is ruined.

So.... all this is quite new for me, and like I said, weird.

What are your thoughts? Have you ever experienced anything like this?
blog comments powered by Disqus